Long live the rose that grew from concrete

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Tue, 21 May 2013 03:37:39 -0400

Accept Yourself as You Are, Even When Others Don’t

Mon, 20 May 2013 04:19:49 -0400

By Louise Watson

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer

“You’re too quiet.”

This comment and others like it have plagued me almost all my life. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that I needed to come out of my shell, to be livelier, or to talk more.

As a child and teenager, I allowed these remarks to hurt me deeply. I was already shy, but I became even more self-conscious as I was constantly aware of people waiting for me to speak.

When I did, the response was often, “Wow! Louise said something!”

This would make me just want to crawl back into my shell and hide. I became more and more reserved.

The older I got, the angrier I became. Each time someone told me I was “too quiet,” I wondered what exactly they were hoping to achieve anyway. Did they imagine I had a magic button I could press that would turn me into Miss Showbiz?

If only it were that simple, I thought. I felt I should be accepted as I was, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen. There was only one thing for it; I would have to become the extrovert the world wanted me to be, but how?

At 17, I thought I’d found the perfect solution: alcohol.

When I was drunk, everyone seemed to like me. I was fun and outgoing; able to talk to anyone with no problems at all. However, it began to depress me that I needed a drink to do this or for anyone to like me.

Another strategy was to attach myself to a more outgoing friend. I did this at school, university, and later when I began to travel a lot in my twenties.

Although I didn’t do it consciously, wherever I went I would make friends with someone much louder than me. Then I’d become their little sidekick, going everywhere with them, trying to fit in with all their friends, and even adopting aspects of their personality.

Sometimes I just tried faking it.

When I was 24, I began teaching English as a Foreign Language, and a month into my first contract in Japan, I was told my students found me difficult to talk to. I was upset because I thought I had made an effort to be friendly and I didn’t understand what else I could do.

After crying all night because once again I wasn’t good enough, I went into work the next day determined to be really lively and talkative. Of course, it didn’t work because everyone could see I was being false.

It seemed that I was doomed. I would never be accepted. Being a naturally loud person was the only way to be liked.

Or maybe not.

Over the years, I’ve spoken to several talkative, extroverted people who’ve been told they’re too loud or that they talk too much. It seems whatever personality you’ve got you’re always going to be “too much” of something for someone.

**What really matters is: do you think you need to change?**

My shyness has made some areas of my life more difficult. It’s something I’ve been working on all my life and I always will be in order to do all the things I want to do.

However, I’ve realized I’m always going to be an introvert, which is not the same thing.

I enjoy going out and socializing, but I also enjoy being alone. At work I talk to people all day, every day. I like my job, but as an introvert, I get tired after all that interaction, so later I need some quiet time to “recharge my batteries.”

I can overcome my shyness. I can’t overcome my introversion, but actually, I wouldn’t want to because I’m happy being this way.

Be kind to yourself if you decide to change.

While I’m still shy, I no longer worry about it. When speaking to new people, if something comes out wrong or I get my words mixed up, I just laugh to myself about my nervousness rather telling myself how weird the other person must’ve thought I was.

In the past I was terrified of any form of public speaking. Now my job is getting up in front of people and talking. After a rocky start in Japan, my students now see me as funny (sometimes!) and confident.

So I think I’m doing alright. No, I don’t understand why I can’t just be like that with everyone, but I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I’m doing my best and that’s all I can do.

Don’t be afraid to lose false friends.

When you’re always being told you’re too much of this or not enough of that, it’s easy to start thinking you have to be grateful that anyone is willing to spend time with you.

I used to put up with friends who treated me badly because I thought if I stood up for myself, I’d lose their friendship and I’d end up all alone.

Eventually, in my last year teaching abroad, I did stand up for myself and my worst fear came true. I was left completely friendless.

And you know what? It was okay. The time alone taught me to enjoy my own company, and gave me the chance to learn more about myself. This has gradually led to me attracting more positive people into my life.

Could your supposed weakness actually be your strength?

I’m a good listener, so friends feel able to talk to me if they have a problem and they know I’m not going to tell anyone.

I’m an efficient worker because I just get on with the job. I can empathize with shy students in my class. I don’t force them to speak but leave them alone, knowing that they’ll talk when they feel more comfortable.

There’s a reason why you were made the way you are. If we were all supposed to be the same, we would be.

I’ve stopped trying to make everyone like me and I’ve stopped trying to be something I’m not. As a result, any changes in my character happen naturally as my confidence continues to grow.

The “quiet” comments are also now few and far between. When you learn to accept yourself, you’re likely to find that others will accept you too.

But if they don’t, it really doesn’t matter.

"You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 16:11:01 -0400

““You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her, because you don’t destroy the person that you love.”
― Calie Torres”

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Sun, 19 May 2013 14:29:44 -0400

lovequotesrus: EVERYTHING LOVE

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:29:15 -0400

lovequotesrus:

EVERYTHING LOVE

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Sun, 19 May 2013 14:22:20 -0400

#Beautiful (feat. Miguel) | Mariah Carey

Sun, 19 May 2013 03:37:53 -0400

#Beautiful (feat. Miguel) | Mariah Carey

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Sun, 19 May 2013 03:07:20 -0400

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Sun, 19 May 2013 02:30:57 -0400

Letting someone get the best of you...

Sun, 19 May 2013 02:26:00 -0400

It’s probably the worst feeling when you heard someone that you can’t have is having fun with someone else. Is it even worth it to even pursue? What incentive does it take for someone to realize you are such a great catch. Its probably my fault to assume that I would be the person to win, but you can’t win every girl’s heart. It’s a numbers game, everyone has an equal opportunity and for damn sure you ain’t the only one her list. When you realize that the person has you as one of her options, it forces you to realize your just being strung along until she wants attention.

You can’t blame the other person for she has every right to meet and go on dates with whoever she possibly wants. I mean its just part of the game, the only troubling fact is realizing that its not you. The hard part to realize is that you shouldn’t be worried about this, it’s part of the process. You had your chance and it is time for someone else to get the same equal opportunity. Don’t limit yourself to just one person, but instead date more. Experiment with others of your liking, because that’s how you can pick and choose what you prefer in a significant other. Limiting yourself to only one option only shorten your chances to an actual victory because what if that other person doesn’t see you that way. You are left with nothing left, but if you had options you can pursue more.

Make yourself busy by trying out new things because it’s how we get to know what we entirely want from someone else. I’ve probably made a mistake trying to invest my time with someone who has clearly had many other options in mind. I know better now that it should not get you to the point of depression, feeling unworthy of ones time. It worked out like this for a reason and I just have found out why yet. Maybe it time I’ll seem to realize what that reason is, but till then this experience shouldn’t make one bitter instead better. Another lesson learn in the books and still many more to come. Take this lesson with a grain of salt for it is the only way to solve this matter.

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Fri, 17 May 2013 03:25:51 -0400

Updated Progress Video

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Sat, 11 May 2013 03:57:38 -0400

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Thu, 09 May 2013 21:09:08 -0400

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Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:57:22 -0400

shialablunt: cant fuckin wait for this watching this

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:52:52 -0400

shialablunt:

cant fuckin wait for this

watching this

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Sat, 27 Apr 2013 21:21:17 -0400

seems all natural to me!

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 22:37:02 -0400

seems all natural to me!

Daily dose of me.: Take the time for a few months to date rather than ask the person you...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 03:30:03 -0400

Daily dose of me.: Take the time for a few months to date rather than ask the person you...:

lilytrann:

Take the time for a few months to date rather than ask the person you believe you love to be official right away because you don’t know that person very well or even if you do, how would you know they’re just holding up a wall? Or hiding things but once you get with them, they’ll show you who they…

I just want to discuss this for a moment. Not only is it...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 01:26:24 -0400

I just want to discuss this for a moment. Not only is it adorable, but it showcases so many emotions of that first encounter with someone you like.

George; When George first notices Meg his eyes fixate on her for a moment and he straightens his file as his body tenses with anxiousness. He then looks down when he realizes that she isn’t looking at him and continues to look down for ages. You can clearly see that he is thinking how to initiate a conversation, how to not act dumb in front of someone so beautiful. I love how he balls his fist because he is so tensed around her and then takes a deep breath and relaxes his fingers before blinking up and slightly sighing over the silence. Also the way he purses his lips together because there’s so much he wants to say but he doesn’t know where to begin so he just stands there smiling and secretly marvelling over Meg.

Meg; Everything about her is innocently seductive. I love the way her eyes flick over at him slightly embarrassed and she looks down when he gazes towards her but secretly glances back from the corner of her eye and smirks a little because she is attracted to him. The way she holds her file tight against her chest because she too is nervous and shy. I love that the little quirkiness of Meg is when she tucks her hair behind her ear. It’s such a gentle yet flirtatious move. She glances at George while doing it with a cute smile hoping that he’s staring at her or that he notices she’s looking and that she’s interested. Then she peeks back and sways a little and they both continue to pretend they’re waiting for the train when in actual fact both are waiting for one another to say “hello”.

Everything about this short scene is packed with so many emotions that even I get butterflies for them as characters. I think Disney portrayed this so beautifully. The innocence of love between a boy and girl back in the 1940’s. Such a simple encounter of meeting your “true love”.

And here we are.

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 04:17:03 -0400

we’re done back to Square One.